One must never lynch. It’s unbecoming and shows a general rot in moral character. But where does that leave the wonderfully inventive knot-cum-loop known by layman’s terms as a Noose? You don’t suggest we do away with the Noose altogether, now do you? Well, what shall we do then?

• Tiny cow lasso.
• Street skiing tether.
• Ironic hipster necklace.
• Handcuffs for Stretch Armstrong©.
• Neck hammock.
• Conversation piece.
• Halloween decoration (North).
• Decoration (South).

-Smart Means Fat

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