-Ed Burns
-David Bowie
-Aunt Jemima
-Pavarati
-Kate Winslet’s son, Bob
-Yoyo Ma
-Yoyo Hank
-Devin Tha Dude
-Angus Young

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Make sure your resume is in HD. So says CNN.com. So, enough dallying about. It’s time you procured some sort of expensive video editing software that can handle HD, such as this Avid Media Composer Nitris DX System (ebay.com, $21,188.00). You do have an HD camera, right? No?

Oh, dear. Well you might as well spring for the Red One 4k Digital (rule.com, $625/day rental).

Then you should probably hire a top-rate cinematographer to capture your resume. Academy Award-winning “camera guy” Anthony Dod Mantle should do (contact his agent, Sue Greenleaves at Independent Talent Group +44 207 636 6565, for a quote).

There you go. Then you’ll just need an editor and some sort of film distributor and you’re all set. You can figure out all the wrinkles once you raise funding.

Annnnd now your resume is ready to be sent off to prospective employers. Congratulations!

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