• DJ AM dying the same day that The Final Destination comes out just seems too coincidental.
• DJ AM met his final destination. Slower than the movies but still freakishly close.
• strange how i saw final destination in 3d, then tonite dj am dies after surving a plane crash…travis barker is next
• R.I.P. DJ AM.. FINAL DESTINATION.. Travis Barker is next… CANT CHEAT DEATH!!
• was there a supernatural element to DJ AM’s death [via Final Destination]? Like how him and the Blink 182 bro survived a plane crash?
• crazy shit DJ AM was in a plane crash last year and survived…a year later he is dead…final destination anyone? rip DJ AM
• didn’t realize DJ AM was in the new Final Destination movie!… too soon? RIP
• New conspiracy theory: DJ AM death – viral marketing for new Final Destination movie. Too soon
• How ironic is that Final Destination comes out 2day & DJ AM died 2day. If you recall he cheated just last yr by surving a fatal plane crash?
• Looks like final destination caught up with dj am! What happened fat heart, OD, treadmill accident, did his bling choke him to death?
• now that DJ AM is dead Travis barker better watch out final destination isnt just a movie
• dont worry i’ll say what yall thinking: when u heard about dj am u thought of final destination
• Ummmm it IS weird that DJ Am dies the same day that “Final Destination” opens, right? I mean…it’s weird. Right?
• DJ AM Found Dead, Death Takes Shape of Real-Life Final Destination?!
• Waiting to watch Halloween 2. THE Final destination sold out. It prob sucks anyway. But I told you it was a good ad campaign with DJ AM
• guess final destination is real. DJ AM found dead in his apartment…
• Not to be a punk, but DJ AM dying now is some Final Destination typa stuff…. Of course death doesn’t go to the movies
• DJ AM’s death proves that final destination is real and now travis barker is going to die next.
• You fuckers are stupid if you compare DJ AM’s death to anything Final Destination-related.

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You Call This Blogging blog post, dj am, final destination

As far as I understand it, this is not an artist’s rendition. This is a photograph of Michael Jackson in heaven.

[via The Heaven Street Chronicle]

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You Call This Blogging blog post, michael jackson

One must never lynch. It’s unbecoming and shows a general rot in moral character. But where does that leave the wonderfully inventive knot-cum-loop known by layman’s terms as a Noose? You don’t suggest we do away with the Noose altogether, now do you? Well, what shall we do then?

• Tiny cow lasso.
• Street skiing tether.
• Ironic hipster necklace.
• Handcuffs for Stretch Armstrong©.
• Neck hammock.
• Conversation piece.
• Halloween decoration (North).
• Decoration (South).

-Smart Means Fat

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Articles & Essays listicle, noose

I was combing through my various Israeli and Jewish RSS feeds (I have three dozen feeds intermingling in my Google The Reader) when I stumbled upon the following headline in the Israeli National News:

Swedish Tabloid: IDF Kills Arabs to Trade their Organs

Read more…

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In the video above, a group of youthful videographers fill up a Trojan Magnum © Lubricated Condom with water. As the condom continues to fill up with more and more water, the off-camera voices turn from awe to mockery.

“Look at that penis!” one voice exclaims.

“That’s disgusting!” says another, as a pair of hands fondles the water-filled condom.

“It’s so hard to lift!”

The video is titled “How Much a Magnum Condom Can Take.” And that question is an interesting one. One that has often sat in the back of my mind as I’m slowly rolling a Trojan Magnum © Lubricated Condom over my one and a half gallon-large penis.

The titular question is never answered in “How Much a Magnum Condom Can Take.” Instead, the group of youthful videographers squanders the valuable broadcast time it was awarded by whatever Television Network that ran this segment and spends its time collectively mocking people like me. People who have penises large enough to fill their entire Trojan Magnum © Lubricated Condoms.

These youths are not alone. The internet is filled with mean-spirited youths who seem to have a problem with people like me.

Stop Mocking My Incredibly Large Penis!

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You Call This Blogging blog post, condoms, my large penis

Make sure your resume is in HD. So says CNN.com. So, enough dallying about. It’s time you procured some sort of expensive video editing software that can handle HD, such as this Avid Media Composer Nitris DX System (ebay.com, $21,188.00). You do have an HD camera, right? No?

Oh, dear. Well you might as well spring for the Red One 4k Digital (rule.com, $625/day rental).

Then you should probably hire a top-rate cinematographer to capture your resume. Academy Award-winning “camera guy” Anthony Dod Mantle should do (contact his agent, Sue Greenleaves at Independent Talent Group +44 207 636 6565, for a quote).

There you go. Then you’ll just need an editor and some sort of film distributor and you’re all set. You can figure out all the wrinkles once you raise funding.

Annnnd now your resume is ready to be sent off to prospective employers. Congratulations!

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You Call This Blogging blog post, cnn.com sucks, job applications, lukas kaiser